


Operación Triunfo

by lunasenzanotte



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Crack and Angst, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Fake Blood, Fake Character Death, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 21:33:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasenzanotte/pseuds/lunasenzanotte
Summary: Sergio is a detective. Someone reports a murder that is about to happen and Sergio's colleague Iker has a very original plan to stop it. Much to Sergio's dismay.





	Operación Triunfo

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a request that I didn't quite fulfill exactly.
> 
> There are elements of crack, but it's sort of dark. My type of humor. You've been warned.

Sergio is on the way to his office, hoping for at least an hour of peace. He likes his after-lunch siesta.

When he comes across the young boy going from door to door and looking at the names on the boards, his gut senses trouble, but he’s never smart enough to listen to whatever his gut has to say.

“Can I help you?” he asks.

The boy looks at him. “Well, I don’t know where to go…” he says.

_Well, that’s obvious, you’re running around here like a mad squirrel._ “What department are you looking for?” 

The boy looks at him, apparently puzzled. “But that’s what I don’t know!”

Sergio resists the urge to roll his eyes. _And they say policemen are the stupid ones._ “What do you need, then?” he asks. 

The boy seems to be quite nervous. Sergio guesses a fine for speeding or something. The youngsters are always afraid they’ll have their permit confiscated.

“Yes, that…” the boy finally looks a bit more relieved. “I’d like to report a murder.”

_Oh shit._

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sergio unlocks the door of his office and motions for the boy to sit down.

“So, Mr. eh…”

“Asensio,” the boy says. “Marco Asensio. Here’s my ID. Do you need my ID?”

_I need you to not exist_ , Sergio thinks, but takes the ID nevertheless.

“So… when and where did it happen?” he asks.

The boy looks puzzled again. “What?”

“The murder. You said you wanted to report a murder. I’m asking when and where it happened.”

“It didn’t happen,” Asensio says like Sergio is an idiot. 

Sergio is considering using his gun at this point. “Look, Mr. Asensio…”

“It didn’t happen, it’s about to happen!” the boy blurts out.

_Yes, most probably in this office._ “All right. So it’s about to happen. I’m listening.”

“A friend of mine… he’s not really a friend, it’s just someone I know… but he told me…” Asensio takes a deep breath. “He told me he wanted to have his ex-boyfriend murdered.”

_Great. What do we have here now, gays murdering each other?_ “I see. Did he disclose any details?” 

“Well, I… he asked me if I knew anyone who’d do it for him, and he told me he was willing to pay the person a lot of money.”

“Why would you know anyone who’d do it?”

Asensio’s face gets visibly paler. “I… Don’t think I’m like that, detective, I’m not a gangster or anything like that…”

_I figured out as much_ , Sergio thinks. _You wouldn’t be able to rob a toy shop._ “I’m not thinking anything. It was just a question.”

“It’s the place where I grew up,” Asensio explains. “Lot of bad guys, but I don’t know any of them anymore. But he knows where I’m from and…”

“So what did you tell him?”

“I…” Asensio looks at Sergio sheepishly. “Told him I’d try to find someone?”

Sergio wants to cry. So does Asensio.

“I was afraid he’d go and find someone himself, and do it, I just wanted to get more time so I could do something about it, please, don’t arrest me, I’d never actually do that!” he whines, eyes filling with tears. 

Sergio holds up his hands. “Okay, okay, calm down. So you told him you’d find someone. Good. We can work with that. Now, who is this guy and who does he want to kill?”

Asensio seems to have calmed down a little bit. “His name’s Juan Mata. He works at the university, I just don’t know which one… I’ve never really looked into universities…” He pauses, then fishes out his phone and starts looking through it frantically. Then he hands it to Sergio with a proud smile. “This is him!”

Sergio takes the phone and looks at the picture. The man on the picture looks nothing like someone who would order a murder. He looks more like a university professor that tries too hard to be cool. The kind that thinks the students love him, but they actually loathe him.

Nevertheless, Sergio sends the picture to his own phone, if only for the giggles after this proves to be some serious bullshit. 

“Fine. I’m sure we can find him if we need to. Now who does he want to kill?”

“His ex, his name’s Fernando Torres and he used to work at the same university, but I think he doesn’t anymore because he didn’t want to see this dude every day.”

_The youngsters seriously still use the word ‘dude’?_ “Understandable. His picture, I assume, you don’t have.”

“No. But he’s like… tall, blonde, freckled…” he trails off when he realizes that it will probably be of no use to Sergio. 

“Never mind. We’ll find him,” Sergio says. “Give me a minute. I’ll have someone bring you a glass of water.”

Asensio nods. When Sergio turns around to close the door, he is biting his nails.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sergio knocks on Iker’s door, secretly hoping that Iker will be interested in the case and will rid him of it. Iker indeed looks interested, especially after they do a quick research and indeed find a Juan Mata working at the Universidad Politécnica de Madrid, and subsequently a Fernando Torres who used to work there as well, but resigned a year ago.

But when Iker accompanies him back to his office to talk to Asensio, it seems like his plan involves Sergio more than Sergio would like.

“So, Mr. Asensio, we want you to talk to Juan Mata again,” he says.

“Should I tell him I don’t know anyone?” Asensio asks.

Iker smiles enigmatically. “No. You’ll tell him that you found someone.”

“I… did?”

Iker nods. “Yes. You found a certain Sergio García, a recently released hitman, who’s willing to do it if he pays him well, as he needs to leave the country…”

“Excuse me!” Sergio interrupts him and drags him to the corner of the room. “Iker, what the fuck?”

Iker spreads his arms. “What? We’ll trap him in no time like that. And possibly he will just shit himself and not go through with it at all, which is even better.”

“Okay, but this idiotic story? It’s like C.S.I. Miami, but ten times worse!”

“Doesn’t matter, the guy will fall for it.”

“He’s a university professor!” Sergio objects.

Iker nods enthusiastically. “Exactly. Stupid as fuck. How many killers has he hired in his life? How many has he seen? He’s never seen one in real life, just those on TV. If you’re not like those killing machines on TV, he’s not going to buy in the story.”

“Okay. Why does it have to be me?” Sergio folds his arms.

“Me he would hardly believe.” 

Sergio has to admit that Iker’s self-criticism is on point here. The guy could accidentally see Iker dipping a biscuit in his Cola Cao, and the plan would just go down the sewer.

“Fine,” he sighs.

Iker grins and returns to the table. “So, you’ll meet him and tell him who you found, then if he’s interested, you’ll call this number,” he says and hands Asensio a piece of paper. “Detective Ramos will take it from there.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sergio secretly hopes that he will never hear from Asensio again. He’s working on an especially annoying case of robberies and a jealous academic wanting to murder his tall, blond, freckled ex for whatever reason just isn’t something he’d want to deal with.

But one evening, just as he’s about to leave his office, the spare phone on his table rings.

“Yeah?” he growls.

“It’s me, eh, Asensio.”

_Fuck._

“And?”

“I’m here with my… eh… friend, who needs the favor from you, as I told you…”

“Hand him to me,” Sergio says before Asensio can truly fuck it up.

There is some quick muttering on the other end and then a very nervous voice says: “Hello?”

Sergio puts on his roughest voice. ”Asensio told me you need something from me.”

“Um, yes, I need you to…”

“Shut the fuck up!” Sergio snaps. “You can’t discuss such things on the phone, are you mad?”

He can practically see Mata shitting himself, wherever he is.

“Okay,” he whispers.

“Let’s meet,” Sergio says. “Tomorrow at nine, the parking lot behind the old school.”

He hangs up, then grabs his other phone and calls Iker. 

“Sergio!” Iker whines as soon as he picks up.

“Asensio’s just called.”

“Sergio, one normal evening with my family is all I…”

“It was your plan,” Sergio snaps. “My place in one hour.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sergio uses Iker’s family car for the disguise, as it is big enough to look badass, after they remove the baby seats and remnants of chocolate wrappers that Sergio suspects are actually Iker’s and not his kids’. He also wears a sleeveless shirt to reveal all the tattoos he has to cover up and hide under his uniform and that his boss keeps pointing out every time Sergio fucks up somehow, like the ink on his skin is at fault. He also confiscates some of Iker’s wife’s jewelry to add to his gangster look.

Mata appears from behind the corner two minutes after nine, looking around like he’s expecting policemen to jump at him at any given moment. Which is hilarious, considering that the police is actually waiting for him.

“So you want me to kill your ex, right?” Sergio asks without beating around it when Mata sits next to him.

“Yes,” Mata says. “I’ll pay you whatever price you name.” 

Sergio raises his brows. “You sure about that?” he asks.

_University professors must be actually quite well of._

“Well, I…” Mata starts.

“I’m cheap. I charge three thousand. Four if the target’s difficult. Which I assume won’t be the case.” He’s sure that he’s being unreasonably cheap, but he needs Mata to go with it.

“Deal. But I’ll pay you only when it’s done,” Mata blurts out.

“Yeah, you will,” Sergio growls. “Otherwise I’ll find you and get my money from selling your kidneys.”

He can practically hear Iker clearing his throat. Okay, he’s probably getting a bit too much into the role.

“I’ll meet you afterwards and bring pictures as proof. You’ll bring the money.”

Mata nods. “Fine. And keep in mind I want him to suffer.”

Sergio looks at him in disbelief. _Seriously?_

“I kill people. With guns. What do you expect me to do? Bring a bag of ants and let them eat him?”

Mata looks embarrassed, but determined. “No, but you can, for example, like… shoot him somewhere it will not be immediately fatal, and let him bleed out.”

Sergio resists the urge to slap him. _You’re seriously fucked up, mate._

“Yeah, I guess I can do that,” he says like he doesn’t care.

Mata looks delighted. Sergio wants to arrest him right there, but he consoles himself with the thought of getting more evidence to roast him with afterwards.

“Fine. Now provide me with all the necessary details. Where he lives, things about the house, his habits…”

Mata proves to be an academic indeed, because he has all the things _fucking written down_. He hands Sergio what could be called Fernando Torres: An Essay on His Habits and How To Kill Him. It even has the form of a freaking dissertation, with numbered chapters and stuff. Mata must have used this as a therapy.

_ The court will love this. _

 

~ ~ ~

 

Sergio rings the bell and waits. It takes barely a minute until Fernando Torres opens the door. He is indeed, as Asensio said, tall, blonde, and freckled.

Sergio flashes him his badge. “Detective Ramos, criminal police. Can we talk?”

The man just stares at him, then he steps out of the way. Sergio walks it and looks around. The house looks exactly as described in Mata’s manual. He leads Sergio to the living room. 

“I suppose you have no idea why I’m here,” Sergio says.

“No.”

“Do you know a man called Juan Mata?”

Fernando visibly pales. “Yes… it’s my ex-boyfriend, but we split up more than a year ago. Why? Did… anything happen to him?”

_Is it just me, or does he sound kind of hopeful?_

“No. In terms of health, he is quite fine. But we were informed that he was planning your murder.”

Fernando gasps. “What? No. No, you must be mistaken.”

Sergio sighs. “Sadly, it’s true.”

Fernando laughs in disbelief. “Juan is a university professor. Do you understand that? He’s no murderer. He wouldn’t kill a fly.”

“Maybe not. Maybe that’s why he’s hired someone to do it.”

“He’s… what? Hired… who?”

“Me.”

The other man is just staring at him, completely frozen. He realizes that Fernando’s probably jumped to the conclusion that Sergio is a real hitman about to kill him and that he used a fake badge to get inside his house. “We set up a trap for him,” he explains quickly.

Fernando relaxes only a little bit. “I still can’t believe Juan would ever…”

Sergio pulls his recorder out of his pocket and puts it on the table. Then he presses Play. Juan Mata’s voice sounds from the speaker. _“…and keep in mind I want him to suffer.”_ A moment of silence, followed by Sergio’s voice. _“I kill people. With guns. What do you expect me to do? Bring a bag of ants and let them eat him?”_ Another moment of silence. _“No, but you can, for example, like… shoot him somewhere it will not be immediately fatal, and let him bleed out.”_

“Stop it,” Fernando whispers.

Sergio presses Stop, but decides to convince Fernando some more by showing him the copy of Mata’s piece of art.

“Have you arrested him?” Fernando asks after flipping through it.

“No. That’s why I’m here. We need your help so that we can gather sufficient evidence.”

“Excuse me?” Fernando looks at him. “This isn’t sufficient evidence?”

_Not for Iker Casillas_ , Sergio thinks bitterly. “Now we need to have proof, so basically he has to pay me.”

“How can I help you with that?” Fernando shrugs.

“He will pay me when he gets photographic evidence that I killed you,” Sergio says. “So, basically, what we need is…”

Fernando gets up and runs away. Sergio sits on the couch, confused, until he hears the unmistakeable sounds of vomiting from somewhere in the house.

_Great. Just great._

 

~ ~ ~

 

When Sergio arrives to Fernando’s house three days later to take the pictures, Fernando doesn’t look any calmer. He looks like he didn’t get much sleep since Sergio’s last visit. 

“This is our technician, Francisco Alarcón,” Sergio introduces the young policeman who’s been given the task of staging and taking the pictures. 

“Just Isco,” the technician mumbles while looking around the house. “I think the blood would look especially good on this light carpet.”

“I think not,” Fernando says, ready to fight him.

“Okay, chill,” Isco laughs. “If you want it to be easy to clean up, we could make Sergio shoot you in the bathtub. But you’d have to be naked.”

Fernando’s eyes go wide. Sergio clears his throat. “Cut your stupid jokes, Isco.”

Isco looks mildly disappointed, which suggests that he really hoped to arrange the scene in the bathtub. “Fine, let’s do it on the stairs. You came through the front door, Fernando here ran down the stairs to see what’s going on, bang, you shot him.”

“You can’t freaking do it on the stairs,” Sergio growls. “Try to relax your body on the stairs without killing yourself for real.”

“True,” Isco sighs. “Where else could we… bedroom is a bad idea, you don’t look like a quiet person, Sergio, no offense…”

“How about we just move the carpet and do it here?” Fernando suggests. “I didn’t even have this carpet when I was with Juan. He won’t suspect anything.”

“Great,” Isco rubs his hands. “You move the carpet. I’ll go grab my fake blood.”

Sergio just shakes his head as Isco storms out of the door. Then he starts rolling up the carpet. Fernando just stands there awkwardly, until Isco returns with his equipment. He continues staring at the two policemen as they discuss the scene while Isco is pouring fake blood on the floor and making Fernando change into a prepared bloody shirt.

Sergio starts tapping his foot on the floor. He thinks that this guy’s already had enough, his composure is literally holding by the threads, and he certainly doesn’t need to live this nightmare longer than necessary.

“Are you done?” Sergio growls.

“Too little blood,” Isco mumbles and runs to get more fake blood.

Sergio just rolls his eyes. Isco really is so extra sometimes, he hates it.

After he returns, he makes Fernando lay down in the puddle of blood, arranging him enthusiastically in what he deems the most believable position. Sergio is fighting the second-hand embarrassment. Isco should have been a movie director. Then Isco pulls out a camera and starts snapping.

Sergio spends the time texting Iker about his urge to kill the technician.

“Fine, we’re done!” Isco announces happily. “I’ll run to the lab to work on the pics. You can pick them up in the evening.”

“Great, thanks,” Sergio says.

Isco gathers his stuff and leaves. Sergio starts thinking about whether he should offer his help cleaning up the mess they’ve made. 

Before he can say anything, Fernando sits in the red puddle and starts crying.

Sergio stands there awkwardly for a few seconds. Then he crouches down and hugs him, fake blood and all. They told them something about hugs and acute crisis during one course, he faintly remembers.

“This is such madness!” Fernando sobs. “I broke up with him… because he would constantly suspect me of cheating… he was incredibly jealous…”

Sergio tries to make a supportive sound, but Fernando maybe doesn’t even notice.

“I left the university because he would be so nasty after we broke up, I hoped it would be over if I left… Even though I lost a good job, I… Some months after I broke up with him, I went on a date… I didn’t even meet the guy again, but Juan saw us… he started calling me, calling me a whore, threatening me… I changed my number. He sent me a couple e-mails, I just deleted them. Then it stopped. I thought… he was finally over it.”

“Well, he was most probably quiet because he was writing a manual on how to kill you, and looking for the right person to do it,” Sergio says, and regrets it immediately.

“I… I can’t imagine… if he found someone…” Fernando sobs and hides his face in Sergio’s shirt. 

Sergio sighs deeply. “We should get you clean, and get rid of this mess,” he says.

Fernando isn’t quite paying attention to what he’s saying, so he just picks him up and leads him where he suspects the bathroom is located. 

“Can I leave you here?” he asks. “I’ll bring you something clean, this is just a mess.”

Fernando nods. Sergio stands there awkwardly for a couple more seconds before he realizes that he should probably get out, so he walks out and closes the door behind him. He hears the shower being turned on before he gets to the stairs, which calms him down a little bit.

When he returns with some clean clothes that he’s found around the house, though, he realizes that the feeling of safety was false. The bloodied clothes are in the sink. Fernando is sitting in the bathtub with the shower running, and he’s sobbing hysterically.

Sergio grabs the shower and for the lack of better ideas washes the last bits of fake blood off Fernando’s hair, then he switches the water off and wraps him up in a towel. 

_We should have just arrested the fucker without all this_ , he thinks.

He somehow manages to get Fernando to bed. There is a bottle of sleeping pills on the nightstand, most likely a consequence of Mata’s stalking, and Sergio figures that this is the right time for one.

“Can you stay here?” Fernando asks. “Until I fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” Sergio says. “I’ll go arrest the motherfucker later. When you wake up, he’ll be behind the bars, I promise.”

“Will I have to see him in court?”

Sergio sighs. “Probably yes,” he says. “But you don’t need to worry. He won’t get to you.”  
  
“And will you be there?”

“Yes,” Sergio says. “I’ll be there to sink him to the bottom.”

Fernando smiles and closes his eyes. Sergio pulls out his phone to text Iker that he will run a bit later and ask him to pick up the pictures at Isco’s office.

He waits until Fernando’s breathing turns even. Then he gets up and thinks for a moment before pulling out a card with his number. He scribbles “Call me when you wake up.” on it and leaves it on the nightstand.

 

~ ~ ~

 

The pictures are better than Sergio expected, he has to give to Isco. He’s a policeman, but he would believe Fernando dead himself. There is even the right portion of anguish on Fernando’s face. _Well, no surprise there, he was genuinely suffering during Isco’s session._

Sergio puts them in an envelope, lets Iker wire him, takes Iker’s car and drives to the meeting point.

Mata isn’t there yet when he arrives, so he gets out of the car. It will make the arrest easier. 

Despite the darkness, he can feel the eyes of the other policemen hidden around on him.

Finally, Mata comes out of the shadows. When he sees Sergio, his face lights up. “Is it done?” he asks.

“You got the money?” Sergio asks instead.

“Yeah,” Mata says and fishes an envelope out of his badly fitted jacket.

“Great,” Sergio says and hands him the envelope with the pictures.

Mata flips through them with a mixture of joy and terror. Sergio’s hand is literally itching with the desire to pull out the gun, but he has to keep the role up for a little bit longer. 

“Is that what you wanted?” he asks.

“Yes,” Mata nods. “Exactly what the whore deserved.”

Sergio sighs deeply. “Iker, take it from here,” he says. “Or I’ll fucking kill him.”

He steps away and before Mata realizes what’s going on, the policemen pour out of the shadows, shouting and pointing guns and leading him away.

The pictures lay on the ground where he dropped them.

“Good job,” Iker says, grinning. “Man, I’m so glad I didn’t go to uni. Imagine someone like this teaching you.”

“Yeah,” Sergio says, handing the envelope with money to the policemen holding a plastic bag. “This was worse than the robberies.”

“The guy will be fine, though?” Iker asks, walking with Sergio to his car.

“I hope so,” Sergio sighs. “He looked a bit calmer when I was leaving. He’s got my number, so…”

“I’m sure he’ll be in good hands, then,” Iker winks. 

“Shut up!” Sergio growls.

Iker sits behind the wheel and closes the door. “And by the way, Sara is still missing one earring. She wants it back, Mr. Gangsta.”

Sergio rolls his eyes and watches Iker drive out on the road. Then he fishes out his phone.

Fernando obviously hasn’t called yet. But for some reason, Sergio hopes he will.

For the first time since this case has started, he doesn’t feel like cursing Marco Asensio.


End file.
